Hannah Durbin

When Everything Seems To Be Falling Apart

Hannah Durbin
When Everything Seems To Be Falling Apart

If you've made the effort to continue reading this, I have a strong feeling that something in your heart just isn't right these days.

Maybe you're feeling uneasy, unsettled, or anxious about what lies ahead. Maybe you're experiencing heartbreak, loss, or a change in passion. Or maybe you're simply overwhelmed by the crushing weight that life has placed on your shoulders.

And in your eyes, the only conceivable solution is to wave your white flag and surrender, right?

Of course it is because the natural, human reaction to a feeling of overwhelming discomfort is to abandon it as quickly as possible. That's how we were built - to escape the things that present a risk, danger, or source of harm. It's how we were designed - a built in security blanket, some may call it.  And I cannot blame you for that because it'd be dangerous to your survival to do otherwise.

But, unfortunately, running away doesn't always solve the problem. Have you ever resolved a heart wrenching fight with the one you love the most by simply ignoring the pain and attempting to continue on regardless? Have you ever overcome the grief of loss by keeping that darkness and confusion bottled up inside the prison of your mind, and trying to ignore the hurt? Have you ever found your answer through passive action?

Fleeting the sources of our discomfort is undeniably a simple solution, but it will not always lead us in the direction that we are intended to go. Sometimes we have to dive face first into everything we've been so deeply afraid of. We have to feel the feelings we've so desperately been trying to avoid. We have to experience the moment before we can move on from it. We have to crash before we can rebuild.

But, why?

We are tested so that we can see what truly matters - to see what's worth fighting for. Sometimes we have to be pushed to our limits to achieve clarity. What is it that we really want? And what can we leave behind?

Your heart breaks. Your rejection letter arrives in the mail. Your dream job slips through your fingers. Your most beautiful friendship crumbles right in front of your watery eyes.

And now you are left with two choices. Fight like hell and commit to total reconstruction, or decide that this chapter of your life needs to come to its close. When our sadness, anxieties and confusion come to their peak, a breakdown can be a beautiful, beautiful thing. Something incredible happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges just at the point when our knees hit the floor. In that moment, clarity is achieved.

Yes, the build up is excruciating. The culmination of pain is heart wrenching. The darkness and uncertainty seem to consume you whole. But guess what? This darkness and uncertainty do not last forever. Ironically, this peak of everything you've been avoiding is the answer you've been searching for. This breakdown is the solution you've been seeking. And please trust me when I say that when the fog clears, and the tears dry, your heart will know exactly where it needs to be.

Trust the process.